kz_blogorambling

Somewhere along the way I took stock of what kind of service I've been doing and felt sheepish about how thin it is. My job sucks a lot out of me, which is part of it, but I also just got complacent.

This spring I saw a call for grant reviewers to give money to local social service agencies. I thought that was a good mesh of my skills and interests, plus it was a combination of doing the work at home on my own time and meeting via zoom with other poeple. So I applied and was accepted and did that. It had its ups and downs, the downs are something I might go into later, but I was glad I did it. I even reached out to one of the other reviewers whose insights impressed me, and we are becoming Walking Buddies, which I love. I don't think I would have met her any other way.

Recently I saw a call for Arts grant reviewers, and I jumped on that immediately. I felt especially sheepish filling out that application because even though I feel like my upbringing was steeped in the arts, and I consider myself an enthusiastic consumer of arts, there wasn't one damn thing I could point to in way of meaningful qualifications. "My husband makes stuff" or "I go to lots of museums" or "I buy tickets to beer tasting fundraisers at the Art Center" is a little lame. HOWEVER, I managed to be convincing enough (or, let's face, they were desperate enough) that I got invited to do it. Haven't started yet, just went through training, but I'm really pleased about it. And next time I want to do something like this, I will have some legitimate experience in our local arts community to point to.

I occasionally think about my first summer of grad school.
I didn't have much fellowship work so I took a PT summer job working at an apt. complex owned by a large firm in town. It owned my apt (and the rent break this job came with was what attracted me), but I worked at a different location, a small property with a two-person office staff. I wasn't an MVP employee by any stretch, but I was okay with the computer system, reliable, did not generate workdrama that the manager or corporate ever had to deal with, and managed to get along with the difficult maintenance guys.

I had one weekend, ONE, where I wanted to attend an out of town reunion of great importance to me personally. Well in advance, I asked for that weekend off. The manager said no. It would mean she had to work that weekend, or track down a staffer at another complex to fill in, and she apparently didn't want to do either.

So... I gave my notice. I was able to do this because I didn't *need* the job, and in my list of life priorities, being able to attend the reunion ranked above that hourly job. Especially given the lack of any effort the manager had made to find a way to make my request work.

Well, THEN, and only then, did they bother to try to accommodate me. The central office folks intervened to ask me why and would I reconsider, and when they heard what had led me to quit they offered solutions like having another staffer from a different property work that weekend (which was very workable; all policies, procedures, hours, and computer systems were identical in every complex, and they had DOZENS of people across town qualified to do it).

I have thought about this story a lot. For a long time I pondered how lucky I was that I had the freedom to quit (or to push back, if I chose that route) and how many people have jobs like this where they can't quit and can't risk making any waves. My issue was relatively trivial, but this happens for non trivial things too. As important as their work is, workers are so undervalued as individual human beings that managers can get away with any kind of callous policy (or non policy).

More often now I think about how the differing ways to spin that episode. One is that I was a selfish/lazy young person that didn't value hard work, and quit in a petty disagreement over my unreasonable expectations (which is probably how my manager put it then, and I see many employers saying now). Another is that a workplace that has no system in place for coverage and can't accommodate reasonable requests from its employees does not deserve their labor or loyalty. As much as it sucks to have so many understaffed businesses out there, I am hoping this can somehow move the needle on how workers are valued. As a patron I am inconvenienced by reduced hours, unpredictable closures, longer wait times, etc, but I try to tamp down my irritation because I am hopeful this is part of a larger social change. I hope this isn't unrealistic.

My team was discussing the potential addition of some acreage to one of the campus' wilderness areas, but had not yet spoken to the unit who would maintain it. My boss was trying to anticipate their funding request with some doubts about whether they really needed much.

I was like... hmm, maybe there are invasive plant species they need to get out? It was just a wild-assed guess.

Today we heard from the unit. One of their concerns: INVASIVE SPECIES! Woo hoo! I guessed it!

I was very excited in a way I thought I'd never be about invasive species.

Okay, it's been 7 months since I switched my account, and here's my first entry. HOW TIMELY.

It has been a rough year, this has to be said. It feels weird to say that I love my job when my job was largely responsible for driving me half out of my mind, but the two are simultaneously true. It was also a slog to get my kid through that last year of high school, lots of angst with rewards and bright spots fleeting & far between. But I think it's smoother sailing ahead on at least the child-rearing front. The job, I don't know. It is probably going to be another challenging year, we all suspect it. I have to do a little more self-care this time.

Well, here I am, having fled livejournal.

Well, it looks the kid who hit our car (repeatedly) was not insured, so I think I can kiss my deductible goodbye. Little pissant!

A student died at my son's school on Wednesday, from a fall. It was a shocking thing, still more questions than answers, but it's been gratifying to see the school pull together. He was a middle schooler (they share a building). Today was supposed to be a fun day of "olympics" and a BBQ, and the staff decided to go ahead with that, which I am glad for.

Last weekend I headed home to help my sister as she moved into our parents' (former) house. We inherited it when Dad died, and I sold her my half, and my nephew has been living there in the interim. But now she's moved in. She had a long wishlist of things she wanted to change/fix before move-in, and I was surprised to arrive and find that so few of them had been tackled. But she's in, and I'm glad I helped, and the other day she posted a nice lake view and it made me feel good that she and her husband are there.

I cannot believe that in a few weeks I am putting my son on a plane to go to Greece on a school trip. We've been apart that long before, but we were travelling, not home. The house will feel very empty.

I found the campus to be more attractive and imposing that I expected.

I didn't think the guy we met for the info session was that great, and I didn't think the tour was so great either.  My husband and son thought they were both just fine.  I can't tell if I'm just being a hardass because this was my job lo these many years ago, or maybe I'm just cranky, or maybe they have no perspective since this is our first one.

I'll be eager to see how our next one goes, wherever that will be.

EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE CAN GO POUND SAND