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I am going to address, upfront, the pointed questions this entry will likely inspire. You see, when the library has self check-out, and no one can actually see or snicker over the items you're taking out on loan, a patron may occasionally take home an embarrassing CD or two. That's the prologue.
So anyway, I'm looking over the liner notes for Britney Spears Greatest Hits. I don't know who they hire to write this stuff, but this person should look into a career with the Onion.
"... it's hard to imagine what the landscape of the pop scene would be like without her. What would have happened if this one Southern Belle had decided to be a doctor or lawyer or schoolteacher instead of becoming the biggest pop star of her generation."
What, indeed. What a poorer country we would be if she were practicing medicine or teaching instead of singing into a microphone, marrying a skank, having a couple o' babies and raising them in her "country" way amid the attentions of the papparazzi.
"...you want proof this dame ain't no flash in the pan? There is perhaps no greater testament to Spears' cultural significance--no better symbolic flipping-of-the-bird to naysayers--than the sheer existence of this album..."
Indeed, because no musician has ever released a "greatest hits" or "best of" album unless they'd reached the undisputed upper echelon of cultural significance.
Up to now, the writer could have fooled me--it's just typical breathless fanwank. But this was a bit too over the top:
"Ponder this: how would you have occupied your time without her? Just think how much more work you could have gotten done if you weren't spending so many hours obsessing about the question that seems to arise every single time Spears steps foot in public: 'What has she gone and done now?'"
That's laying it on a little thick, sister. Admit it, you stopped typing and laughed until you peed yourself after that one. How did it make it past the editors? Bravo.
These notes are chock full of quotable gems.
So anyway, I'm looking over the liner notes for Britney Spears Greatest Hits. I don't know who they hire to write this stuff, but this person should look into a career with the Onion.
"... it's hard to imagine what the landscape of the pop scene would be like without her. What would have happened if this one Southern Belle had decided to be a doctor or lawyer or schoolteacher instead of becoming the biggest pop star of her generation."
What, indeed. What a poorer country we would be if she were practicing medicine or teaching instead of singing into a microphone, marrying a skank, having a couple o' babies and raising them in her "country" way amid the attentions of the papparazzi.
"...you want proof this dame ain't no flash in the pan? There is perhaps no greater testament to Spears' cultural significance--no better symbolic flipping-of-the-bird to naysayers--than the sheer existence of this album..."
Indeed, because no musician has ever released a "greatest hits" or "best of" album unless they'd reached the undisputed upper echelon of cultural significance.
Up to now, the writer could have fooled me--it's just typical breathless fanwank. But this was a bit too over the top:
"Ponder this: how would you have occupied your time without her? Just think how much more work you could have gotten done if you weren't spending so many hours obsessing about the question that seems to arise every single time Spears steps foot in public: 'What has she gone and done now?'"
That's laying it on a little thick, sister. Admit it, you stopped typing and laughed until you peed yourself after that one. How did it make it past the editors? Bravo.
These notes are chock full of quotable gems.
